Resolutions are not only for New Year's

They say that a big event can shake you to your core. But does it really? Do you truly lose a part of yourself when something significant happens in your life?

I guess I've been through my fair share of trauma, if you count being in a car accident. It was a dramatic incident, sure, but I came out of it with just a few bumps and bruises. I remember after getting out of the hospital, I slept for a solid 26 hours straight. Two days later, I was back at work, carrying on like nothing had happened.

But then, slowly, it started to hit me. I couldn't shake off the images of the accident – the man from the other car, the ambulance, the voices of the policemen and paramedics, the rumors about the trapped mother. And then, in the ambulance, it all caught up to me, and I found myself crying. The paramedic asked if I was in pain, but how could I explain that my tears were of relief? I remembered a radio ad about how ambulance sirens symbolize saving lives, and I felt grateful to be inside that ambulance, hearing that sound. Instead, I just nodded and said something hurt.

In the midst of it all, I realized I was alive, and that alone was something to be thankful for. I made plans to change, to be a better person – not that I was bad before, but we all have our flaws. I started reaching out to people, apologizing if I had ever hurt them. I made plans for self-improvement, trips I wanted to take, goals I wanted to achieve... it was like making New Year's resolutions. And like most resolutions, once my injuries healed and the pain faded, I forgot about them. Nothing really changed. I didn't go out more, didn't socialize more, wasn't a better friend, didn't read more, didn't better myself. I just stayed passive.

Then 2023 rolled around, bringing with it a new challenge that I would only conquer in the current year. Another event that made me reevaluate my life and ask myself some tough questions. Am I a good person? A good partner? Am I excelling at my job? Am I a good daughter? Am I focusing on the right things? Am I taking care of myself properly? What new things can I learn? What do I truly enjoy?

And amidst all this reflection, I realized something – I love telling and writing stories. So if I love it, why wasn't I doing something about it?

Fortunately, while I may not be certain about whether I am a good friend, I am certain that I have wonderful friends by my side. These are friends who uplift and motivate me, friends who encourage me to strive for more.

So this time I did change a little. I took a small step towards not living passively.